how unbelievably adorable my toothless son is right now. He has an empty tic tac container filled with pretzel pieces (that he broke up and put in himself). He has this little box in his pocket and he keeps coming up to me with this earnest, beautiful face telling me I can have ONE more tit tat, mama. As he digs in his pocket with pudgy fingers, opens it up, taps one out and feeds me.
It's stuff like this...the sweet thoughtful gestures they make for me daily that makes it all so worth while. Oh...and his toes are painted dark purple! Hehe!!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Yes I Am
The title to this post has absolutely nothing to do with the body. I just wanted to say that....
It's so fucking hot here! It's too hot to do much of anything outdoors so we're stuck inside entertaining ourselves...it's even too hot to swim. Bella will only stay out long enough to pee and poop. She won't play outside at all. I've tried taking the kids out to play but after 5 minutes I'm drenched in sweat and in need of another shower. Never mind the hordes of mosquitos that attack like the fucking plague! Bug spray makes my skin burn...I don't really feel comfortable covering my kids in it.
Also, my son may be a sadomasochist. (As my brother so lovingly pointed out this afternoon.) Good for him? I may need help in the coming, oh say, 10-15 years to get through the inevitable broken bones and god only knows what else kind of injuries he will sustain!
It's so fucking hot here! It's too hot to do much of anything outdoors so we're stuck inside entertaining ourselves...it's even too hot to swim. Bella will only stay out long enough to pee and poop. She won't play outside at all. I've tried taking the kids out to play but after 5 minutes I'm drenched in sweat and in need of another shower. Never mind the hordes of mosquitos that attack like the fucking plague! Bug spray makes my skin burn...I don't really feel comfortable covering my kids in it.
Also, my son may be a sadomasochist. (As my brother so lovingly pointed out this afternoon.) Good for him? I may need help in the coming, oh say, 10-15 years to get through the inevitable broken bones and god only knows what else kind of injuries he will sustain!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
What the fuck?!
I swear I need to change the name of this blog to Danger In the Life of a Two Year Old.
This week, unfortunately, isn't looking much brighter than last week. Another old friend of mine died in a car accident this past Friday. He crashed into a tree and died upon impact. His car exploded and his body was burnt beyond recognition and there wasn't even a casket at the viewing. I grew up with this guy....Known him for almost 20 years. His girlfriend survived the accident somehow but she has 3rd degree burns on most of her body. They are going to be amputating both legs and an arm if they can get her past the other injuries. She has 3 children. His mom and mine have been really great friends for so long....He took me to prom! Man...
Also, to add to Jack's knocked out tooth ( a week ago today), he was pushing his truck around today, slipped and face planted on it. Apparently his tongue was sticking out and he bit down on it, slicing it open very bad. Very deep. There's nothing you can do for mouth injuries like this. No stitches or anything so we have another week or more of a soft diet and I WILL be losing my mind sometime today or tomorrow. FUCK!!!!!
On the brighter side, his gums are healing nicely. The wound on his gum is no longer pussy and we missed having an infection..yay! His other tooth is still a wee bit loose but it is getting tighter so we may not lose it after all.
Baye has been making fun of me for being so over-protective with him. (I always have been because he's always doing some kind of crazy shit, we've just been able to avoid major major wounds until now. ) Telling me shit like "you're gonna have him in a helmut soon!" "relax, Summer! It's gonna be ok!" "Oh no Jack, mom's getting freaked out again!" I told him after this happened today that if he makes any snide remarks to or around me about me being super protective, I am going to knock the living shit out of his face. I mean it. I'm just not one of those freaky ass mom's that wig about every little thing. I usually don't give much merit to boo boos. My usual motto is, "are you bleeding? A bone pertruding? Large knot on your head...dizzy? Faint? Good. You'll live...shake it off."
God, I'm going fucking crazy.
This week, unfortunately, isn't looking much brighter than last week. Another old friend of mine died in a car accident this past Friday. He crashed into a tree and died upon impact. His car exploded and his body was burnt beyond recognition and there wasn't even a casket at the viewing. I grew up with this guy....Known him for almost 20 years. His girlfriend survived the accident somehow but she has 3rd degree burns on most of her body. They are going to be amputating both legs and an arm if they can get her past the other injuries. She has 3 children. His mom and mine have been really great friends for so long....He took me to prom! Man...
Also, to add to Jack's knocked out tooth ( a week ago today), he was pushing his truck around today, slipped and face planted on it. Apparently his tongue was sticking out and he bit down on it, slicing it open very bad. Very deep. There's nothing you can do for mouth injuries like this. No stitches or anything so we have another week or more of a soft diet and I WILL be losing my mind sometime today or tomorrow. FUCK!!!!!
On the brighter side, his gums are healing nicely. The wound on his gum is no longer pussy and we missed having an infection..yay! His other tooth is still a wee bit loose but it is getting tighter so we may not lose it after all.
Baye has been making fun of me for being so over-protective with him. (I always have been because he's always doing some kind of crazy shit, we've just been able to avoid major major wounds until now. ) Telling me shit like "you're gonna have him in a helmut soon!" "relax, Summer! It's gonna be ok!" "Oh no Jack, mom's getting freaked out again!" I told him after this happened today that if he makes any snide remarks to or around me about me being super protective, I am going to knock the living shit out of his face. I mean it. I'm just not one of those freaky ass mom's that wig about every little thing. I usually don't give much merit to boo boos. My usual motto is, "are you bleeding? A bone pertruding? Large knot on your head...dizzy? Faint? Good. You'll live...shake it off."
God, I'm going fucking crazy.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tell me if this hurts....
We had an extremely traumatic day here Tuesday. An old old friend of mine passed away Thursday and I attended the funeral Tuesday morning. Funerals are always such sad affairs but when it's for someone so young....it's devastating. My friend Ricky was only 27 yrs old and he left behind a wife and 2 yr old son. I can't imagine being the wife...nor can I imagine being the parent that has to bury a child. No matter that the child is an adult. It's not right.
After the funeral, I went out to my brother's house for a visit. Everything was going great until about 8:30 pm....when Jack was running through the house, tripped and hit his mouth on the lower rung of a massage chair. He knocked one of his top front teeth out. Yes, completely out. It ripped out of the front of his gum. Root and all. Well, the root coming out as well was actually a blessing. The dentist said if it had just broken and left the root in they would have had to put him asleep to surgically remove the root. So my little baby is missing a front tooth at 2 yrs old.
I'm gonna some post some pictures of his toothless grin here in a few days. And tell a better story but I am so emotionally exhausted from this and he hasn't been sleeping because it hurts so I haven't been sleeping....so tired.
After the funeral, I went out to my brother's house for a visit. Everything was going great until about 8:30 pm....when Jack was running through the house, tripped and hit his mouth on the lower rung of a massage chair. He knocked one of his top front teeth out. Yes, completely out. It ripped out of the front of his gum. Root and all. Well, the root coming out as well was actually a blessing. The dentist said if it had just broken and left the root in they would have had to put him asleep to surgically remove the root. So my little baby is missing a front tooth at 2 yrs old.
I'm gonna some post some pictures of his toothless grin here in a few days. And tell a better story but I am so emotionally exhausted from this and he hasn't been sleeping because it hurts so I haven't been sleeping....so tired.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Notes To Future Self
1) Red wine and Jagermeister...do not mix well. Refrain from ever consuming both beverages on the same night again!
2) Sitting bare-assed while drunk on the dirty garage floor is a big no no. It will result in strange and unfortunate bug bite around vagina.
3) Under no circumstances whatsoever comment on strangers boobs. While meant as a compliment it will be taken badly.
4) Keep own boobs constrained in shirt. They are not what they used to be and no one likes to see them now. (Besides husband and he has to say he likes them.)
5) Do not fall asleep naked on couch when husband has friends hanging out in the garage. They will get more than they came over for and look at you funny from then on.
2) Sitting bare-assed while drunk on the dirty garage floor is a big no no. It will result in strange and unfortunate bug bite around vagina.
3) Under no circumstances whatsoever comment on strangers boobs. While meant as a compliment it will be taken badly.
4) Keep own boobs constrained in shirt. They are not what they used to be and no one likes to see them now. (Besides husband and he has to say he likes them.)
5) Do not fall asleep naked on couch when husband has friends hanging out in the garage. They will get more than they came over for and look at you funny from then on.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Unnecessarily Necessary
I have been dealing with depression for so long, I can't really remember a time I wasn't depressed. I mean, there have certainly been intervals of time I haven't dealt with it but it has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I've actually gone months, even years without being "depressed" but it always come back with a vengeance. Lately, it's been sleeping in my bed with me all day every day.
The really horrible thing about it, is that this time it's manifesting itself in different ways. All of the old ways but some new ones as well and it sucks. Badly. I usually try to deal with it without taking any medication and am successful most times but sometimes....I need it and I absolutely hate being dependent on drugs to make me feel good and normal. I keep a prescription of Wellbutrin handy for these occasions and will take it for a few months until things settle down and then I stop. I'm good and happy and go on with my life.
This time, it's not working. I've been taking the drugs for about two months now and they aren't really working. I keep "forgetting" to take them and once I've "forgotten" enough times when I do remember, I look at the bottle, groan and tell myself I'll take it later. I think we all know later never comes and I continue on my downward spiral. What's more, this seems to happening to me more and more lately. It was only back in October that I went completely nuts and shaved my head. I got better and moved on. Now, less than a year later I'm dealing with it again.
If I was worrying about just myself it wouldn't be such a problem but I'm taking care of two amazing kids (that I can't stand to be around these days), a husband (whom I am so pissed off at all of the time for nothing) and a household (which requires so much of my time and attention to keep up and running). Nothing gets taken care of and everyone suffers for my suffering. Besides my inability to do anything, I am so fucking irritable this time around I can't stand being around myself most of the time! It's gotten out of control and I'm afraid I need to go see a doctor to change meds and get some relief.
Studies show that if you suffer from some form of depression, your children are 2x as likely to suffer. I've also recently been told that ADD and ADHD are the symptoms of manic depression. It manifests itself as ADD/ADHD in children and most times turns in bipolar manic depression in adults. Cheery right? If I suffer and if Baye suffers, what hope is there for Jack? What hope is there for Chloe if she is so much like me? It's a shitty situation...
The really horrible thing about it, is that this time it's manifesting itself in different ways. All of the old ways but some new ones as well and it sucks. Badly. I usually try to deal with it without taking any medication and am successful most times but sometimes....I need it and I absolutely hate being dependent on drugs to make me feel good and normal. I keep a prescription of Wellbutrin handy for these occasions and will take it for a few months until things settle down and then I stop. I'm good and happy and go on with my life.
This time, it's not working. I've been taking the drugs for about two months now and they aren't really working. I keep "forgetting" to take them and once I've "forgotten" enough times when I do remember, I look at the bottle, groan and tell myself I'll take it later. I think we all know later never comes and I continue on my downward spiral. What's more, this seems to happening to me more and more lately. It was only back in October that I went completely nuts and shaved my head. I got better and moved on. Now, less than a year later I'm dealing with it again.
If I was worrying about just myself it wouldn't be such a problem but I'm taking care of two amazing kids (that I can't stand to be around these days), a husband (whom I am so pissed off at all of the time for nothing) and a household (which requires so much of my time and attention to keep up and running). Nothing gets taken care of and everyone suffers for my suffering. Besides my inability to do anything, I am so fucking irritable this time around I can't stand being around myself most of the time! It's gotten out of control and I'm afraid I need to go see a doctor to change meds and get some relief.
Studies show that if you suffer from some form of depression, your children are 2x as likely to suffer. I've also recently been told that ADD and ADHD are the symptoms of manic depression. It manifests itself as ADD/ADHD in children and most times turns in bipolar manic depression in adults. Cheery right? If I suffer and if Baye suffers, what hope is there for Jack? What hope is there for Chloe if she is so much like me? It's a shitty situation...
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Way too busy...
These past few weeks have been completely out of control busy. There has been so much going on and there doesn't seem to be a time in the near future it will be getting any better.
We're on week 3 of potty training Jack and he's doing awesome! He's having about one minor accident a day, which is so great. (I'm talking about pee pee here) Poop is a different story. I haven't managed to get him to poo in the potty yet and that's fine, I guess. I know the poop takes a bit longer...but damn! Poopy undies are gross!! Much worse than poopy diapers.
He's talking so much now. You can really understand him (at least I can!) and he can really relay to me what he wants from me. It makes things so much easier!
Lil Miss Priss starts school next month! I can't believe she's old enough already...it really does seem like it was just yesterday she was born. Having her has been a true testament to how time truly does fly. She's going to a really amazing school for pre-k but we can't afford for her to continue going there through the 8th grade. By the time she's in 8th the tuition will be close to $10,000/year with all of the other fees. We have J-Dog to think about too and there's just no way we can afford $20,000/year for school so I've been checking into Magnet school programs for her to start next year. I'm amazed at how many programs they offer for elementary age kids. There are a ton to choose from. They even start special programs dedicated to the arts in 1st grade. Special schools. It's pretty cool. If she gets accepted to one of these schools she will be automatically accepted into any middle school magnet program we choose for her and then to any college prep high school she wants to attend. It's a pretty amazing program and the education she could get will be great. She's smart as hell (and I'm not just saying that because she's mine!) and I know she can excel in something like this. Her dad has been pushing me hardcore to put her in private school but he has no interest in shelling out any money for it so this is my compromise. It's a pretty damn good one if you ask me.
I've been trying for well over a year now to figure out a way to help Lil Miss keep her room clean. I don't expect perfection, just some organization. Like a made bed and all dirty clothes in the hamper. My sister-in-law gave me some ideas that sounded great; a big toy box for all toys (I had small containers to organize different toys) and because Lil Miss likes to change clothes umpteen times a day a "worn once pile". Sounds cool, right? So, I got a huge toy box and an extra basket for the worn once clothes. Not so much luck with it. I decided to buy some door beads. She has two rooms attached to one another. Her bedroom and a smaller playroom in the back with a doorway seperating them. I got the beads to hang in the door and give it some seperation. My rule was, the playroom can be as messy as you want...behind the beads. Just keep the toys back there and out of the bedroom. She apparently has waaay too much shit and overflow should be expected. My real request now that I have all but given up hope on a clean room is that she at least get all of her dirty clothes to make it to the hamper. My nw rule is...I will not pick any of her cloths up off the floor. If her clothes aren't in the hamper on laundry day, her clothes don't get washed. She went 3 weeks without her laundry being done. When she realized she had no more clothes, she gathered them up. I told her today was laundry day and she gathered up her cllothes and put them into the laundry room for me....Yay! A fucking victory!!
As for me, I'm going to school, keeping house, teaching Lil Miss how to read and Jack how to shit in the toilet. I've been a busy lady. Whew.
We're on week 3 of potty training Jack and he's doing awesome! He's having about one minor accident a day, which is so great. (I'm talking about pee pee here) Poop is a different story. I haven't managed to get him to poo in the potty yet and that's fine, I guess. I know the poop takes a bit longer...but damn! Poopy undies are gross!! Much worse than poopy diapers.
He's talking so much now. You can really understand him (at least I can!) and he can really relay to me what he wants from me. It makes things so much easier!
Lil Miss Priss starts school next month! I can't believe she's old enough already...it really does seem like it was just yesterday she was born. Having her has been a true testament to how time truly does fly. She's going to a really amazing school for pre-k but we can't afford for her to continue going there through the 8th grade. By the time she's in 8th the tuition will be close to $10,000/year with all of the other fees. We have J-Dog to think about too and there's just no way we can afford $20,000/year for school so I've been checking into Magnet school programs for her to start next year. I'm amazed at how many programs they offer for elementary age kids. There are a ton to choose from. They even start special programs dedicated to the arts in 1st grade. Special schools. It's pretty cool. If she gets accepted to one of these schools she will be automatically accepted into any middle school magnet program we choose for her and then to any college prep high school she wants to attend. It's a pretty amazing program and the education she could get will be great. She's smart as hell (and I'm not just saying that because she's mine!) and I know she can excel in something like this. Her dad has been pushing me hardcore to put her in private school but he has no interest in shelling out any money for it so this is my compromise. It's a pretty damn good one if you ask me.
I've been trying for well over a year now to figure out a way to help Lil Miss keep her room clean. I don't expect perfection, just some organization. Like a made bed and all dirty clothes in the hamper. My sister-in-law gave me some ideas that sounded great; a big toy box for all toys (I had small containers to organize different toys) and because Lil Miss likes to change clothes umpteen times a day a "worn once pile". Sounds cool, right? So, I got a huge toy box and an extra basket for the worn once clothes. Not so much luck with it. I decided to buy some door beads. She has two rooms attached to one another. Her bedroom and a smaller playroom in the back with a doorway seperating them. I got the beads to hang in the door and give it some seperation. My rule was, the playroom can be as messy as you want...behind the beads. Just keep the toys back there and out of the bedroom. She apparently has waaay too much shit and overflow should be expected. My real request now that I have all but given up hope on a clean room is that she at least get all of her dirty clothes to make it to the hamper. My nw rule is...I will not pick any of her cloths up off the floor. If her clothes aren't in the hamper on laundry day, her clothes don't get washed. She went 3 weeks without her laundry being done. When she realized she had no more clothes, she gathered them up. I told her today was laundry day and she gathered up her cllothes and put them into the laundry room for me....Yay! A fucking victory!!
As for me, I'm going to school, keeping house, teaching Lil Miss how to read and Jack how to shit in the toilet. I've been a busy lady. Whew.
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