Ahem..Random goings on at Casa de la Beauford

My dog was in heat for two, yes, two whole friggin weeks and yes, I was on my period at the same time. It was a great, fun-filled experience. I must say though that seeing an 80lb rottweiler wearing Dora panties was quite funny. However, when said Dora panties worked their way off the resulting blood splatter all over my floors wasn't quite as funny. Also the fact that when Dora panties came off and she found the pantyliner wedged in there and decided to eat it (many of them) wasn't funny at all. No no. SKIP THIS NEXT PART IF YOU ARE EASILY GROSSED OUT. To top this wonderful experience off, I then had to pull eaten but not chewed (so swallowed whole) pantyliners ou of her butt on several occasions. Yay for me! The Huz, of course, found all of this endlessly amusing.

Since we are already on the subject of shit, I'll go ahead and talk about my dear boy's love of smearing poop on every conceivable surface in his room, including using himself as his first option. This actually started months ago when I tried potty training him. It was like he had found gold in his new big boy underoos. Gold that had so many possibilities of being play worthy. The first time wasn't such a big deal. I got on to him and cleaned up the mess. Washed his blankie (which, God forbid you take that from him for even a minute!) washed his sheets and scrubbed poo. This has continued for months now. I finally got smart and started putting those little footy jumpers on him, you know the ones that zip up? I cut off the feet and sleeves, because hello? it's hot as hell in Florida, and I put them on him backwards. He can't take them off and he can't spread his poopylove all over his room. That only works for bedtime and naptime though so if he poops any other time, guess what...I'm scrubbing shit. Thank goodness that boy is so cute.

Lil Miss Priss starts school this year! I'm so excited!! We were able to get her into a really nice private school here in J-ville. The one I really really really wanted her to go to. It only goes up to 5th grade but she will have her pick of schools after this. They teach spanish and computer skills in pre-k here. Fucking amazing. What's even cooler? I know you're asking...is that both sets of grandparents have agreed to split the tuition.

Ok, kids are awake so I have to go tend to the three ring circus.