I get the feeling I am living in a war zone with a 3 year old as the general, foot soldier and executioner.
I wonder why relationships are so difficult to maintain. Not between spouses but between friends. I have been kind of agonizing over a friendship that is very dear to me. I learned my lesson years ago about being a good friend. I lost a very special person because of I didn't work hard enough to maintain it. Because I got too caught up in my own personal bullshit to think about her feelings. I have learned that no matter what, you cannot do that. It is my belief that when you embark on a relationship with another person, you become, in some ways, responsible for their feelings.
The majority of my friends have no children. I realize I need to seek out friends with kids. People that understand what my life is like and whom I can will listen sympathetically to my woes and excitedly to my triumphs as a parent. This blog has been my only real connection to other mother's. It's difficult though when the friends I have, have been around for at least a decade.
One of my closest friends got married two years ago and we have always just hung out as married couples regardless of my kids. We have always made it a point to spend quality girl time together, be it shopping during the day or drinking copious amounts of wine on my porch at night. Until recently. She has become acquainted with another "soon to be" married couple and spending a lot of time with them. I don't want to be like "me! me! me!" I know we all need other friends but every time I call her lately to hang out, and I am the one to call, she is busy with the other girl. I figured that at some the fact that I do have kids and my life revolves around them would become, maybe not an actual issue, but a point of widening the gap of our friendship. I knew this deep down but have trudged along almost oblivious to it. I guess maybe hoping it wouldn't happen. I'm afraid it has happened. Maybe for reasons I can't see, but my feeling is because I am lame now that I am a mom. Ech...it sucks. Maybe I am being too sensitive and reading into it too much. I don't know...we shall see.