Tuesday, September 26, 2006

WTF is THIS? As The World Turns or Something?

Me, the woman who tries like hell to stay away from drama has become completely engulfed in it. This situation has become a he said she said soap chalk full of the requisite tears and screaming accusations. A smorgabord of bullshit. Stress stress and yes, more stress. I am trying like hell to remaim composed and sane throughout this ordeal and focus on my babies and moving on with my life but it's HARD when almost everyday the soon to be ex-huz is baiting me (it feels like baiting to me). We have always, and I mean always fought about money. Mostly the fact that I have never made enough and in his exact words, am a sorry ass cunt. Ahem..yes I did use the C word. His words. Exactly. So, now that we are seperated and he is paying all of his bills and am paying mine, he is constantly bitching about how little money he has and how he can't afford this and can't afford that. It's true that he has recently started a new job that will put him on a more positive (and much happier for him) career track. I'm truly happy that he has decided to do something about his previously unhappy work enviroment. I applaud his effort at making his life better. Only thing is, for a man so wrapped up in money, making less of it is not such a good thing. Hence him demanding more from me. Now you see, if he were to come asking me to pay the phone bill and the auto ins. (which I am of course entitled to pay) I would gladly hand over the couple hundred dollars (wincing at my checkbook and the lack of money in there). Instead he demands in a very patronizing and nasty voice that I pay immediately. Um yeah, my ass shoots money out of it regularly. Give me a few days and I could have thousands for you. Haha! Right...if it were only so easy. I am constantly being reminded of how much he has done for me in the past few years. He is even using the fact that he provided health ins. for us from his employment paying for it weekly. Wait, isn't that what you should do if your employer offers reasonable ins. and you're married and you have kids? Should that be considered a favor I need to pay back? I'm extremely confused. The longer this drags on the nastier it seems to get. Now he is questioning my ability to raise our children, insinuating I am unfit. WTF? I hardly drink, I don't do drugs, I feed them well, cloth them, love and nurture them. They are in no way wanting or needing of things I can give them. They get it all. Everything I have. I am not the one who threw a huge temper tantrum throwing my family out to the curb thus ending our family. Nope, that wasn't me. I can only hope that the law prevails and we will be taken care of and my babies and I can remain together.
This is crushing me.

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

Holy Shit Summer. I am so very sorry. I wish I had something of comfort to say, but I suck. You really are one hell of a strong rock star mamam. I don't know what it will take to get you through this, but I am sure you will find your way.