Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A Post on Things Concerning Vaginas
**Warning to all men: Explicit girl talk follows. If you're bothered by such discussion, DO NOT read on.

My vagina hates me.
It absolutely fucking hates me.
"Why do you say that?", you may ask.
Well...let's see. I have been told that after having kids your periods get better. Not me. It didn't with my first, it actually went back to normal fairly quickly. Still having bad cramps and pshycotic PMS every month. I thought, "hey, after the second one it should be cool!" Yeah right. It's been worse. Much, much worse.
The first one I expected to be bad. It was awful. I was also on my way to Bonaroo, a music festival in Manchester, Tennessee on a farm. Camping. Port-a-lets. Heat. Gross. Bad cramps but quickly dealt with by excessive drinking and partying. Yay! Besides the dirty circumstances, it turned out alright. Like I said drugs and alchohol.
The next month....ooh shit. Cramps so bad I couldn't function. I went to see my lady doctor and she prescribed me some painkillers. Ok, cool, but not a solution. She said the first 2-3 after baby are bad but they should be better by August. This is September and they are not better. In fact I think they may be getting worse. Not good. Not good....
To top it all off, I have a yeast infection as well. Fucking fabulous.
As I said earlier. My vagina hates me.
What have I done oh wonderful vagina? Bringer of my babes into the world? Pleasure hub of my body? Tell me and I will no longer do these things that make you so angry! Tell me! Tell me dammit! Oh the silent treatment, eh? Fuck you. I hate you too.
Also, I now have no insurance so I can't go see the good doctor. I can't afford it.
Suffer I will.
Any advice?

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