If I Ignore it Will it Go Away?

***This post does not mean I am in any way against religion nor is it meant to offend anyone who is religious. My parents are religious as are many people I call friends and I fully respect their's and anyone else's views on this topic. It is simply me venting about a particular situation. ***




Okay, some may say I am a nice person. I say sometimes too nice..also sometimes shitastically bitchy. I try really hard to be courteous and aware of other people as often as is humanly possible. Not doing so has bitten me ass a lot and I want to encourage courtesy in my kids. You know, to be the best they can be?

Anywho. A few months ago I was sitting on my front porch in the afternoon when a very cute little old lady drove into my driveway. She was adorable. She got out of her car and walked up. I thought she was going to ask for directions or attempt to sell me Avon or something. Instead, what I got was a bonafide witness for a local church. I've always been really good at moving these people off and away very quickly but this woman was just so cute, I couldn't stand being even slightly rude or dismissive to her. I let her talk to me for a while. I even let her quote some passages from the Bible before telling her I wasn't interested...not really religious, you see. She continued by asking me some pretty good questions about my family and my desires for their well being and spiritual happiness. I do desire for them to be spiritually fulfilled, I do desire morals and happiness for them. I just don't believe in organized religion and that route isn't what I want to take right now. When they get older and show curiosity, I will do my best to educate them.

She continued without taking any of my hints until nap time was over and kids were screaming for snacks. She has come back again and again. Usually at the most inopportune times like when I am weed eating the yard or bringing in groceries while trying to referee 2 children and she always expects me to stop what I am doing to talk to her. I am sick of it yet I still can't make myself be rude to her. I HAVE told her I'm not interested. I HAVE told her, NO I AM NOT GOING TO VISIT YOUR CHURCH! She just doesn't seem to get the point so my tactic lately has been, when she knocks on the door, I ignore. Hush the kids and ignore. She is a persistent bitty though. She knocks on the front door and rings the bell when she gets no answer, she goes to the back door and knocks for a time. I know she knows I'm home (it's impossible to keep a 4 yr old and a 1 yr old quiet!) so I think she would get the point....No answer, no way. Now go away!

I'm all for people representing their churches. It's cool if that's what you believe in and what you want to do. All I ask is to please not push it down my throat. It doesn't make me any more likely to swallow what you're spooning out. Sorry.

Of Mother and Child

There is one moment in every mother's life when she fully realizes the ferocity of her love for her child. For some, this happens at birth and for others, it happens at a different point down the road but we all come to this realization with a crash. A quintessential turning point in our lives. It was as overwhelming for me then as it is for me now and I can imagine that fifty years down the road, I will be just as amazed.

My life with my mother has always been rough. We never got along and it's almost needless to say that we fought like cats and dogs for most of my teenage years. It was really only after I had given birth to Chloe that I knew how she could continue to love me through everything I put her through. How that love is unwavering and so strong. I gained a new respect for her and these days she is not only my mother but also my best friend. We talk every day, sometimes twice a day. I can't imagine living a day without her rooting for me, being my biggest fan, my confidante, my shoulder to cry on. She is my mom. The only one I will ever have.

My mom felt the same way about her mother. There were times my grandma would irritate her, piss her off beyond all belief but she was always her mother. The only one she would ever have. Watching my mom lose hers has been a very hard thing for me to do. The mortality of my loved ones has become shockingly clear and I find myself thinking daily about the time when I too will have to brace myself for the loss of my mom. I too will have to face a world without her. I can't imagine it but I know it will happen.

I feel so very special to have been able to witness some tender moments shared between my mom and grandma. Hands held, eyes eating each other up. Memorizing every detail. As if their faces weren't already firmly implanted in each others hearts and minds forever. I sat by my grandma's bed and watched her look at my mom with such love, such intensity. It reminded me of the way my mom looks at me sometimes. The way I look at my own children. This look reminded me of gazing at my newborn baby for the first time. It was so amazing and heartwarming, also so heart wrenching knowing this would be one of the last times they would be able to simply look at each other.

The strength of that bond which holds mother and child so closely together never loosens it's grip. Never falters. It is a bond that lasts through eternity.

A Quick Funny

This past Friday, the kids and I were taking a long drive. Long drives with two kids are never truly fun...I define long drives as anything that lasts more than 30 minutes. Jack screamed awhile and finally gave it up to sleep while Miss Priss and I listened to some good music.....and her talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. She decided she wanted to sing, so I asked her what she song. Her response?

"What's wrong with your ass?"
Me: "Ummm. I don't think I know the words to that song. Next song please!"

Trying to regroup

Things have been really insane lately. We had her viewing and funeral services last night and her graveside service this afternoon. I plan on writing a long post soon but I really need some time to emotionally regroup. My house is also in shambles since I've spent most of the last two weeks by her side. Lots of things need to be done around here...

R.I.P. Mary Geraldine Dorminey

My Grannie passed away this away this morning around 12am. She slipped into a coma Thursday night and went peacefully. My Papa died almost 11 years ago and she has she has been grieving the love of her life since then. May she now rest peacefully, reunited with him.